Puncture at 4 miles - £4.99
Puncture at 29 miles - £4.99
Two inner tubes given to stranded cyclists - £9.88
Ridicule faced at being last up The Devils Chimney - £12 round of drinks
Full English Breakfast by a roaring fire - Priceless
There are some things that money cant buy
But for everything else there are pounds shillings and pence.
Although the weather is still too cold for most people not to be able to turn off their TVs and venture out, the weather has been good for cycling.
Dry with light winds.
So as long as you are wrapped up well there are some miles to be had and I have been trying to get them in.
This Saturday saw the Anglo Mules have their first training ride of the year and it was democratically decided that we should have a challenging climbing route to sort out the Christmas puddings from the salad bowls.
My singular vote was as useful as voting Liberal democrat
I certainly came in the Christmas pudding category having to bully my burden up every incline.
This endeavour caused much merriment with my fellow salad bowls who seemingly had the ability to pedal, laugh and make up fattest jokes - all at the same time.
I was just shattered.
Whether it was the pull of gravity or the fact that I had already cycled the previous 5 days I don't know, but my legs and lungs were fighting to have their say on proceedings.
I had the presence of mind to not raise the issue of my previous weeks toils.
To do so would have been futile and only encourage more ridicule.
At one point it was humorously pointed out that it was in fact a 'good thing' that I had not brought along my Heart Rate Monitor.
The general consensus was that the readings alone could have caused my old ticker to stop.
To make matters worse I got two punctures.
Last year I had none.
In the summer you can almost get away without having tyre leavers. In the winter you need a full wheel brace !!!! applied with glove less hands.
By the time you have finished your hands make perfect beer coolers.
The second puncture came after we had assisted some cyclist up in the wolds who had multiple punctures and had run out of inner tubes. He and his partner were given two of ours.
The net result of this was that my second puncture (Thankfully a slow one) could not be remedied directly.
It meant that every half a mile I had to stop and pump my tyre up.
I had to chuckle to myself as I thought of Johan Bruyneel jumping out of his Radio Shack car and inflating the teams tyres as they rode in the Tour de France.
Despite the Ridicule, the sweat the exhaustion, and despite the mechanical it all seemed incidental when we had our post ride breakfast with some important hydration.
The fact that I had broken through 400 miles for the month of January in our coldest winter also warmed my spirits.