The Giant Bradley

Since last Sunday in Paris the country has been overcome by a wave of euphoria surrounding the triumphant exploits of Bradley Wiggins in the Tour de France.

The media circus, with little else to cheer about - have been surfing this good news story as far up the beach that they can.

Now the whole nation knows about him. 

They have not only been told  that he is the first Briton to win the Tour de France - but what he eats, drinks, wears.

What music he listens to, and details of the 'mod' scooters he rides.

His side burns and nicknames also receive attention, I particularly liked 'The banana with sideburns'

Cycling rarely features in any of the red tops, but even they are cashing in.

 The Daily Mirror a paper renowned for cycling coverage (He says tongue firmly in cheek) provides us with Ten things we didnt know about Bradley Wiggins.

Who didnt know? Is that the royal 'We' or just the Non Cycling Public

Another headline that caught my imagination was from the Yahoo website which stated 'Bradley becomes a sporting Giant'

My attention was immediately diverted to the local people of Market Weighton who must have have had apoplexy when they woke up to the news that a giant called Bradley had won the Tour de France.

Surprisingly none of the editors of the 'fish and chip wrappers' seemed to pick up on a previous Bradley who was equally famous and somewhat larger than life.

William Bradley or 'Bradley the giant' as he has become known was born on 10th February 1787 in Market Weighton, about 13 miles from where I live. He was one of thirteen children.

John Bradley, his father, was a respectable master tailor, his mother seemingly a professional child bearer.

At birth William weighed 14lbs and at the age of 11 he weighed 154 lbs.

At 19 he weighed 378 lbs and was 7ft 9ins in height.

His stockings measured 3ft 9ins, his walking stick 5ft 10in and his shoes were 15ins long and 5.5ins wide.

I am quite certain Sidi do not do this size!

William occasionally worked assisting a local butcher, Robert Foster, and on such occasions could get plenty of food to satisfy his large appetite. It was said that he could eat with ease a full sized leg of mutton with vegetables at one sitting. For desert he settled for half an apple orchard.
With falling profits the butcher let him go.
In his teens he went into farm service but he broke the forks, rake shovels and other tools so his employers had to get larger and stronger tools made for him.

William once accepted a challenge for a wager that he could load a wagon with manure in less time than it took two men. He filled his wagon long before his two competitors.
Despite this achievement  nobody was brave enough to call him a S**T shoveller

Whilst at Market Weighton one year, Barnum’s travelling show were exhibiting a huge pig bred in Sancton known as ‘The Great Yorkshire Pig’.
They struck a deal with John Bradley to take William around the country along with Edward Calvet, a dwarf from Shiptonthorpe.
A giant, dwarf and inflated pig ...........They didn't scrimp on entertainment in the 18th Century!!!!
The show attracted vast crowds wherever it went.
 At the time he was as famous as our side burned hero.

As well as being the home of the Giant Bradley Market Weighton is also one of the landmarks on The Big G Cycle sportive which was another less famous cycling event that occurred last Saturday an warm up to the main event. Last year I swore that I would never do it again and was reminded why, when I took to the relentless succession of hills. My lack of climbing credentials are always highlighted on such sportives where it is now a standing joke that I have got the only bike with a reverse gear.

Nunburnholme hill featured below was a real leg burner, especially coming so close to the end.

I have never seen so many people toppling over into the verge.

Most cyclists will know that feeling....... When the hill is so steep that any kind of controlled extraction from your cleats is impossible. Fortunately It has not happened to me for a few years, but its a real art lining up that bit of 'softer' road or a verge with no nettles to execute your capsize.

Some people make it into an art form, others end up like bugs laid on their backs, their legs thrashing around  trying to remove their cleats from a horizontal position.

Thankfully I remained upright but was unable to muster a smile for the Camera.

Whilst the Anglo Mules were Taking part in the Big G the US Mules were completing The Katy Flat Lands
with 16 of the Team the largest group that they had assembled all in their livery...Some sight.
Unlike our course, theirs weres as flat as a pool table and they were able to average an impressive 20mph



I do like the sense of unity when the US and UK Mules are riding in events at the same time in different continents.



There next ride is the Hotter than Hell up in Wichita Falls North Texas.
It will feel strange not being part of it for the first time in Four years.



Instead I will be tacking another elevated climbing sportive in North Lancashirewhich is called  the Bradley Wiggins Sportive .
Yes you got it The Bradley Wiggins !!!!!!
It is to highlight his charity to get young people cycling.
 The great man will be riding so obviously I will be looking for for both his wheel and his approach to join the Mule Team.

Ambition is the last refuge of Failure

When Oscar Wilde wrote that 'ambition is the last refuge of failure' people applauded at yet another insightful phrase from this perceptive wordsmith.
Once the clapping had died down they then argued about what was meant by it.
This in turn ironically played the phrase out as ambitious scholars had to accept that their own interpretations were possibly flawed.
My own take on this is that 'Ambition' is a positive attribute, a driving force, a will to succeed.
Where could 'failure' possibly find a refuge in such a state of mind?

I believe that Wilde probably perceived that with ambition there comes 'challenges'. A desire to do something 'out of your comfort zone' or 'out of reach' .

With such new ventures there is always a greater possibility of failure because of the unknown. Life often requires practice, a succession of dress rehearsals. How many times do you get things right the first time?

Last Saturday Simon and I took part in the Pocklington Pedal Challenge 100 mile sportive. A traditional type sportive with challenges provided through frequent arduous climbs, zig-zagging between the Vale of York and the East Yorkshire Wolds. It included two trips into Thixendale an idyllic village only accessible to riders who have put in their winter training. Somewhere you would be as happy to leave as you would to arrive. To visit twice by different routes was as imaginative as it was sadistic. I can just imagine the organisers having a jolly good laugh as they thought up that one !!!!

On arriving at the start I was overcome with a great sense of unease as I walked to the signing on area. The gale force blustery winds were tugging at my clothes and caused me to tilt forwards in order to make progress. As we lined up for the start I surveyed the depleted entrants knowing that the remainder had sensibly silenced alarms and pulled the covers back over there helmetless heads. It was one moment in time that I was actually grateful for my additional poundage as some of the stickmen would surely be blown from hill tops. We were set off in two minute intervals and Simon and I took up the rear, with an almost immediate call of nature by Simon we were soon adrift. The first hill soon arrived the 400 feet, 16% gradient, and 35 mph headwind was a difficult equasion but =3.8mph of progress. It also required the skill of a high wire performer required to remain on two wheels. After 35 miles we started overtaking folk.........some who were forced to walk up some of the hills due to the wind/gradient conspiracy.

After 75 miles we were as close to the finish as we had been all day. Simon was suffering the psychological affects of having me glued to his wheel all day. Sensibly it was a position I was eager not to relinquish without a significant reduction in speed. He questioned the satisfaction and pleasure that the day had brought and suggested that we call it a day. I agreed.

So is this failure Mr Wilde?.........No way. Surely in these circumstances the lack of achievement is never 'failure' but merely a lack of success.
As I complete this blogpost I am following the weather for tomorrows sportive in Lincolnshire.

High winds and torrential rain.......................Although I intend to start there may be some further 'lack of success'.......... and ample supplies of water.

"Stay on the road, don't go near the moors".

When I decided to take part in my first Evans 'Ride it' Sportive I chose Harewood because it was fairly local. Although I knew where the start and the finish were.
I had no idea of the route, not until the day before the event.
An explanation for this is in case the organisers need to make some adjustments for roadworks etc.
Anything that could be considered dangerous to the riders would obviously have to be taken into consideration.

My own belief is that If the course were announced earlier people might make other arrangements.
Like gardening.............or gentle ride out to the pub for a spot of lunch.


I know sportives are meant to be challenging but I don't think that you should be frothing at the mouth like a horse who has just carried an overweight jockey around the grand National course!!


Depending on which calculation I use my maximum heart rate should be between 168 and 174 bpm - not 183 as some ascents dictated.

To say I enjoyed the ride would be similar to saying I enjoy unblocking a toilet.
Whilst the event was taking place it was thoroughly unpleasant and I felt nauseous.
However once it was over there was a definate a sense of achievement, I got through all the crap and cameout the other side and my recovery was instant.


Don't get me wrong I like climbing and descending as it usually occurs in areas of outstanding beauty, where the vantage point is often amazing.

When the slopes of a more extreme nature you see very little going up through the tears and sweat in your eyes and coming down its all a bit of a blur.
So lets recap.....30 minutes climbing ,90 seconds descent....for about 6 and a half hours.
No time for recovery, or for idle chit chat.
Most of my dialogue was in the grunt form, starting with the word 'OH' and followed by words mostly begining with the letters F or S.
To be frank I was not good company for Mark and Bob.

In one of my Favorite films 'The American Werewolf in London', two American backpackers are warned 'Stay on the road, don't go near the Moors'.

I was quite envious of my American Mules who were simultaneously completing the Houston to Austin MS 150 - as I ventured out onto the Moor.

This paarticulaar Moor is same locality that I will have to meet again in June when we do the Coast to Coast Ride.

On the plus side I will have a triple chain set and be on my tourer.

On the downside I will have a heavier bike, two heavily loaded panier's (One with girls stuff!!!!) So even heavier still.

My next sportive in two weeks promises the same amount of climbing but with lower elevations.

I have ordered a new rear cassette which should soften the blow.

I asked if they had any with 100 teeth.

The man in the shop looked at my frame (not the bike frame) and smiled.

Gravity can be a killer you know.

Trick Cycling

January was a good month for me.


After failing to reach my goal of 6,000 miles cycled last year I was determined to reach it this year. My plan is to try and beat last years monthly total each month which would put me well on target.
In January 2010 I cycled 94 miles
January 2011 558 miles plus ten lbs lost.


Apart from gifting us with sub zero temperatures, the weather this January remained mainly dry and I was able to commute most days.


Mid way into February the freezing arctic weather has been replaced by temperatures just above freezing. Not to be outdone by January, February has brought its own presents in the form of gales and heavy rain to ensure that the experience is equally unpleasant.


I'm not quite sure which experience I least like yet but I'm working on it.


Riding any length of time in the freezing cold is no fun so we are always on the look out for cycle friendly places to stop and warm our feet that serve good food and hot drinks The Gallery in South Cave
Certainly fits the bill serving us breakfast and preparing us for the climb up Brantingham Dale.
With a beautiful interior and gift shop/ gallery it is also a romantic setting for evening meals or intimate lunches.

Last Saturday the Anglo Mules embarked on a more challenging ride, wishing to increase our distance to over 50 miles and to find some climbs that make you wish you had pulled the covers over.

The weather did not look promising and Bobby and I watched the rain pour down from the bus shelter At our rendezvous point Dalton Holme

We encouraged each other using regular references to both the BBC and Met Office reports,that the rain would pass within the hour.

Which hour I asked impatiently?

despite my inbuilt optimism I sensed that such an hour would be one that may arrive sometime during the afternoon, way after I have got home and taken off my drenched clothes and maybe even when I might have stopped shivering.
Bobby was so disillusioned that he got into a nearby a telephone box - believing that it was some sort of mystic portal to take him home. I reminded him that 'Dr Who' had a blue police phone box and that the British Telecom ones were like the phones inside. 'Out of order'

Eventually Simon and Mark arrived like 'wheeled otters'.
With lots of stranding water and soil/flint washed off the fields the minor roads that we use were more suitable for mountain bikes.

I'm not a great fan of standing water as underneath there is often a pothole waiting to snatch at your wheel, nibble a few spokes and bend your rim.

For me potholes = ££££££

On one particular stretch I very masterfully announced that around the next bend 'The road may become difficult'

I explained that there was a very steep descent with a tight bend at the bottom, that the road would narrow and that there was a good chance of potholes.

Leading from the front I shot around the corner and soon accelerated up to 30mph.

Temporarily blinded by the rain in my face I adjusted my focus to see standing water ahead of me at the bottom of the hill.

Thankfully there was a narrow strip of 'causeway' in the middle of the road that attracted my heading.

As I got closer I noticed a small sharp piece of white flint smiling at me.

F**K me if it wasnt was right in the middle of my refuge.

I wanted to shout out.....to make it move but I guess it had been around since the Jurrasic period.

I was going too fast to break hard as the road was covered in a film of mud.

I missed it with my front wheel but before I could smile the rear Tyre popped like a champagne cork.

The sudden loss of air also meant a sudden loss of control and now I was fully submerged in the underwater pothole chicane.

Before I could reach for my life jacket .......Bang....... front tyre !!!!!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!

For the next ten seconnds I fought to keep the bike upright and take off the spped.

Ten seconds does not seem long but when trying to keep your heart on the inside of your chest and your breakfast from covering the outside, ten seconds is a real drag.

Thankfully apart from my wounded pride there was no harm done and we stiill went on to do 53 miles.

Incidently I have just got my application form for the circus.

Riding in the Dark

The bright sun was extinguished, and the stars
Did wander darkling in the eternal space,
Rayless, and pathless, and the icy earth
Swung blind and blackening in the moonless air;
Morn came and went—and came, and brought no day,
And men forgot their passions in the dread
Of this their desolation; and all hearts
Were chilled into a selfish prayer for light.

Lord Byron

For weeks now I have been getting up in the dark, cycling to work in the dark only to return in the dark. When I started this winter comuting, it all seemed a bit of a novelty but as the days have got shorter its becoming a real test.

To make matters worse the black cloak that comes with the setting sun has definitely got darker.

I am fine with the dark....honest but am not too keen on the four miles stretch along an isolated country lane.

Its amazing how your imagination plays games with you.

Although I am certain that the rustle I heard in the undergrowth is only a rabbit, once my imagination has processed it I am off...........

Pedaling as fast as my legs will pump into the darkness in certain belief that there is some cycle chomping goblin chasing me.

The other thing that gets me is when a cars headlights suddenly illuminate the road in front of me.

I either count the seconds until I believe he will undoubtedly hit me from behind or look into the illuminated area ahead for mad axe man that has just escaped from the sanatorium.

Both scenarios show a spike of my heart rate on my 'post cycle' Garmin reading.

To try and combat my nocturnal fears I have bought some more lights.

I now have several.

Helmet - front and rear lights

Coat - front and rear lights

Handlebars -Light shining straight ahead and light shining onto kerb ahead of me.

Two rear lights and LED lights strapped on my ankles.

I guess If I do get knocked over the driver will say 'He was blinded by the lights'

As I write about darkness I am reminded about a different darkness that often fills peoples lives.

The darkness associated with bereavement, separation, illness and poverty.

One of our Mules Taylor Bartholemew has had such a darkness which hangs like a shadow over her

At the age of 3 1/2 she was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia (ALL). ALL is the most common type of leukemia in children under the age of 15, and progresses rapidly, affecting immature white blood cells (lymphocytes).

When she was sick, her doctor performed immediate injections into her spinal column, which were coupled with blood transfusions from her mother as the donor to replace the damaged blood. She spent weeks in isolation in hospital and then several months in isolation at home as her immune system had been destroyed.
After two years of oral and intravenous medications, and weekly blood tests, she had completed her treatment.
By the age of 5, she beat ALL (just in time to start kindergarten BALD!!)

She is now in her TWENTY SECOND year of remission!!! and is as fit as a butchers dog.
She is a regular rider of the Travels with my Mule Team but also rides for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's Team In Training (TNT) Charity.

She is an inspiration to many myself included and it makes getting up in the dark all the more easier.

Next year she plans to complete a 100 miles sportive around Lake Tahoe to raise money for TNT.
We (Mule Team) all think she is an absolute star.

If you want to support her for this event follow this link = Taylor

Hotter than Hell Preperations - All Good Mules deserve a nice home

Today was my last day in the saddle to acclimatise to the Heat and Humidity of a Texas Summer. I went with my twin brother Paddy 'Le Patron' and acted as his Domestique , setting the pace and sheltering him from strong and windy conditions around the vicinity of Zube Park.
Riding 'shotgun' for Paddy is a role that I have grown accustomed to over the years, so much so that now Paddy quite unashamedly calls me his 'Super Domestique'

For those of you who are familiar with the term you will know that there is a hierarchy among domestiques; the more accomplished, often called lieutenants or super-domestiques, are called upon during critical times.

The lieutenant(s) stays with the leader as long as possible during demanding periods providing him all the support he can muster.

Obvious examples from the recent 2010 Tour de France were Alexander Vinokourov (Astana) riding in support of Alberto Contador, Chris Horner (Radio Shack) riding for Lance Armstroing and the mighty 'Spartacus' Fabian Cancellara (Team Saxo bank) riding hard for Andy Shlek

Paddy commented that it was a good training ride all be it from the relative comfort of his 'wheel sucking' armchair. For me it was an altogether more gruelling experience but pleasant none the less.

We completed 45 miles which also took us past our cousins (see above) who received their customary salute. The ride personally took me over 4500 miles for the year almost a mile to the day as at this time last year.During last years Hotter than Hell ride we noticed a fancy double decker team bus from some local club (The name escapes me) and Paddy our patron commented that one day we will have our own.

Today we collected our own 'Team Trailer' I grant you that we cant sit on the top of it and drink fancy cocktails but its a start and a fantastic asset. It even has the names of our current 'active' members on the side
Well done Paddy !!!!!!!!

'Travels with my Mule' is a small cycling team but we aspire to great things.

Our ultimate aim is to form a vibrant social cycling team to collectively take part in international charity cycling events. To accept any rider of any ability who wants to take part in events and feel part of a team. We have a core of riders in USA mainly Texas and the UK but some of our members come from all over the world.

We have our own website http://www.travelswithmymule.com/ which provides more information about our team. We also have a number of member blogsites.

If your riding in the Hotter than Hell don't be shy please shout out 'Go Mules' and you will get a big thumbs up, alternatively come and meet us afterwards. We have some wrist bands and if the team have not been too greedy we may also let you try out some tasty MuleBars our 'MuleFuel' courtesy of MuleBar

http://www.mulebar.com/

Either way have a great Ride.

Who know next year we may have a bus too !!!!!!

Witchita Falls 'Hotter than Hell' Roster

Four weeks on Saturday heralds the start of the 'Hotter than Hell' Sportive in Witchita Falls (North Texas)

The Hotter’N Hell Hundred is an annual bicycle ride held each year on the 4th or 5th Saturday in August (always 9 days before Labor Day) and includes professional as well as amateur riders. The professional racers ride a 100-mile road race, as well as time trials and criterium. For the amateur riders, there are road routes of 100 miles, 100K, 50 miles, 25 miles, and 10K.
The race was first held in 1982 as part of the Wichita Falls Centennial Celebration.
The name is thus a rare example of a triple entendre: one hundred miles (i.e., century) in one hundred degree Fahrenheit weather (the race is held in August, usually the hottest month of the year in Wichita Falls), initially conducted to celebrate the city's 100th anniversary.

Approximately 8,000 to 10,000 riders participate each year, making the Hotter'N Hell Hundred the largest sanctioned century bicycle ride in the US.
2009's Hotter N Hell had over 14,000 riders.

After completing in it last year I was impressed with how well the event is organised, the camaraderie, entertainment and facilities laid on for the riders.
Last year was also the first year that the Mules rode together in an organised event so its a special ride for us. With dozens of riders joining onto our pace lines at various stages of the ride I am sure that many will recognise the distinctive Mule Logo this year.
Last year was also interesting in that a cold front appeared on race day making the expected 100 + degrees tumble to a pleasant 80 degrees. This changed the ride from a significant challenge to a standard century ride.
I'm hoping that this year the name of the ride will live up to its billing.

Below are the mules so far committed to the Team.

Paddy Shrimpton

La Patron - The rider who has earned the respect of the peloton. He need only express his displeasure to enforce the unwritten rules of the race (e.g. Merckx, Hinault, Armstrong). Although struggling with fitness problems he always provides a great performance on the day.

Philip Shrimpton

Phil the domestique/rouler

Un domestique - support rider especially for the patron, when given a free reign can double up as 'Rouler' - rider who is strong on flat and undulating roads. Expect nothing flashy, he will be taking long turns at the front and protecting the welfare of the Team.



Jason Flockton

Jason " la danseuse" Flocton-- (French: Like a dancer.) Has an ability to dance on the pedals like Rodolf Nureyev. When he is sitting down he is also an accomplished 'rouleur' a totally smooth and steady rider who would be a choice pick in any team.

Expect Jason up front when we need some additional pace or in strong headwinds. Perfect 'lead out' man like Mark Renshaw and an Aussie too.




Kenny Rhame

Kenny the Cannibal -- Inhumane rider. Eats domestiques for lunch

Prix de combativité - The honour of wearing a red race number as the leader in the "Most Aggressive Rider" competition.

Kenny is fearless, aggressive and uncompromising. He is also very fast!!!!

Glad hes on our team!!!!!

Sean Lloyd

Sean 'The Vet' Lloyd.

Sean has a great affinity with animals who are magnetically drawn to him. This also includes when he is cycling. After a recent encounter he was left with a broken bike and broken body (Dog was fine) He is now regaining his former impressive fitness.

Sean has recently taken up 'pooch polo' -- This is the time-honored tradition of using a frame pump to dissuade the pursuing dog from having your leg for lunch.

If we encounter any canine creatures Sean will naturally come to the front to protect the Team.

Adam Miller

Adam 'the Diesel' Miller is the engine of the team and a rouler. He can churn along at a steady pace and pull for an age. He can also entertain with his quick wit and comical powers of observation.

Taylor Bartholomew

If Paddy is our Patron then Taylor is our own spiritual figurehead, in the same way as the other great Texan Lance Armstrong.

Having fought serious illness - just to see another day would have been a blessing for some.

Taylor now lives a full an active sporty life and is an inspiration to us all.

Not only can she ride, but she kicks butt and if your not at the top of your game you are usually sucking her back wheel.

When she is not on the road or at work you might find her increasing heart rates of others, in the gym. She is also an enthusiastic qualified spin instructor.

Taylor is the 'Benjamin du tour' - The youngest rider in our team.

She is a natural rouleur with an easy rhythmical style.

By the time we roll out in Wichita Falls we may have some more but this nucleus of riders is a great start

Flatout in the Fens

The last month has seen a huge amount of activity in the International cycling World.
We have had The Giro, Tour of California, Tour of Luxembourg, Dalphine Liberee and The Tour of Switzerland.
Frankly its been a double bonus.
Having been forced by patriotic obligation to watch our national team show their ineptitude in playing our national game, I find myself searching a thesaurus for new words that describe frustration and boredom.

Even watching the cycling 'domestiques' collect bottles from team cars was more exciting than watching Mr Rooney and Co audition for the remake of 'Out of Africa'.


The whole cycle scene is so intriguing with our entrees of 'pre Tour de france racing' served up with dollops of Drama and sub plot.

It has been really fascinating to see who has entered what and to note the general omission of the Tour de France General classification contenders facing each other.


Contador looked so comfortable in the Dalphine and he will take some beating.
Basso looked rejuvenated in the Giro
Mr Armstrong got a 3rd in Luxemborg, 2nd in Switzerland. As he says 'Do the Math'

There are so many podium contenders in the melting pot.
I enjoyed seeing Cadel Evans find some real form and I am looking forward to see how Sky go with Bradley Wiggins and the talented Edvald Boasson Hagen.

This Norwegian baby face is my dark horse to do well.


Over the next week all of the teams will be publishing their rosters for the Great event and I expect there will be a few surprises too.



Whilst all of this is going on 'The Mule Team' are ramping up their training for the Annual 'Hotter than Hell' ride in Witchita Falls, Texas in August.



I expect to announce a full Roster for this team soon when The Mules have been shod and had their manes cut. Some have spent too much time in the fields eating grass!!!!!!!


In the meantime two of the Anglo riders are taking part in 'Flat out in the Fens' this Sunday a 112 mile sportive.
With the temperatures forecast for the mid 80's it will certainly be a challenging ride.

I will be completing this with a new 'Mule' - Mark Kelk.

Mark is a strong and powerfull rider especially away from the hills .
Such is his prowess on the bike that they have seemingly named a village after him.

Mark we welcome you into the pasture and hope you do the Mules proud with Hard riding and good charity work.

A full report and Pictures will follow after the weekend

Tour de Mule Day Four

In the days way before rock and roll, derailleur gears and peanut butter sandwiches legends were common place.

Even further back and 300 strong, King Leonidas held off Xerxes whose army from the East outnumbered his 1,000:1.

Entering Day-4, the odds on the Mules riding a 3rd consecutive 100 miles was also 1,000:1.

It was on this day where the hills became a factor and a few exotics, some poisonous posed challenges that this 300 (actually foursome) faced.

Behind each legend there is usually a key component to their success.

Bravery, tactical brilliance or something less significant like the round shield or longbow.

For the Mules it came in the form of Butt butter.

Their morning started early with a 50 mile march (car ride) from the hotel in Tupelo back to from whence they came, 50 miles south of Tupelo.

With his Creases properly Buttered Philip was ready to Dahhhhnce on his pedals. And Dance he did leading off the Mule train.

Gathering momentum they made short work of the morning session completing 50 miles at 19 mph where they met Ted for lunch at the Parkway Visitor Center .

This lived up to its billing with cold clear spring water and indoor bathrooms buttered by battered butts which were slowly becoming black and blue.

A nice recommendation for civilized travelers is to add a surprise to the lunch.

Ted added chips one day, cookies the next and then mixed up the sandwich shop without telling us.

Such small surprises are nice reward for the riders and appreciated thereafter.

The next 50 mph was a challenge because of the acute and constant undulations.

Philip tried to raise our spirits by declaring that each one in turn was 'a bit of a rib tickler' by the end the humour wore off and the undulations were demoted from 'rib ticklers' to 'butt busters'

At the top of one such incline the Mules were rewarded by the Pharr Mounds at mile marker 290, an incredible archaeological find.

8 mounds are still in tact and were used by Native American Indians to bury their dead. Although the demise of these Mules may have been scripted, bucking convention is their trade mark, they were ready to make their own history and rode like Mercury the winged messenger.

Move over Stone Henge, buenos dias Hadrian's Wall, adieu to the burial mounds, 300 here we come.

We got there but only after Paddy slayed a 50 ft poisonous viper which nested right at the 300 mark.

300 on the ride but another 20 miles to hit the team's goal of 110 miles for the tour which was "supposed" to be the longest day.

As we approached our goal the rivalry between Phil and Kenny could not contain itself. By mile 316 the hills could not contain themselves either.

Kenny aka Floyd Landis unleashed a powerful 23 mph surge for the remaining 4 miles up hill that no one will ever match ensuring that the polka dot Jersey was his for keeps.

The day ended at mile 320 with the team pondering Kenny's genetics.

This intensified after liquid hydration (Guinness) and an immediate urine test was requested.

This was sent to the same guys that busted Landis.

To his dismay Phil last hope was dashed when the result just illustrated that Kenny was merely half mule half mountain goat.

Through all of the days excitement we had entered Alabama...................No prizes for guessing what we had on the radio on our way to the Hotel