Mules go Mad in Mallorca

Way back in November 2014 The Mules sent an expeditionary force to the Island of Mallorca to determine whether its monument climbs could be accessed and conquered.

Other requirements were also sought with one proviso.

That only adjectives beginning with the letter G could be used.

Good accommodation, great bikes, good food, great beer, and of course gigantic climbs.

In the interests of all, hangovers and gastric poundage were obtained along with a bike supplier and stable for the Mules.

After much preparation the clubs first full blown tour took place this September. 

Assembling at Leeds Bradford Airport we could easily have been mistaken for a syndicate who had just won the lottery. Smiles were fixed and kind of strange, with joviality in abundance.

For the trained eye there were subtle hints that we were in fact two wheeled athletes.
The odd club cap, Rapha T shirts, and the domed outline of cycle helmets straining inside bags restricted by airline allowances.

Having a Dr with us is always good, having a Spanish one that speaks more languages than a united nations translator is a bonus.
That is until the Italian Flight attendant asks if there is a Dr on board the plane.
Super Mario (Manuel) was able to provide sufficient assurance to a poorly passenger and flight staff that we didn't have to go to Paris.
We had no bikes waiting for us there !!!!

The Hotel anticipating our arrival  sorted our rooms out in double quick time to ensure that we could relax with a few Cerveza by the pool.
During the libations there were a number of tentative auditions in an attempt to mimic Daniel Craig emerging from the water. Nobody came close.
The following morning the Mules emerged starry eyed with the anticipation of both pleasure and pain.

We were collected  by a mini bus which towed our bikes in a trailer and were driven to Inca where we started our first ride. 

It was simple, ride to Sa Collabra and then back to Palma before drinking beer and wearing are pre purchased Rapha Sa Collabra T Shirts.

Hey Shrimpers Sa Collabra is just round the next bend

After climbing for what seemed half a light year we eventually crested and came across a Cafe with lots of cyclists milling around. 'Thank F**k for that I thought' I heard that Sa Collabra was tough but it was in fact a killer. 

After taking my first sip of coffee I practically spat it all over the table on hearing that 'We had only just reached the Mountains'

 Sa Collabra was miles away. Andy Worrall at least found it amusing

The adrenalin that comes with fear soon kicked in and as we passed through the tree line the task at hand suddenly came into perspective, quickly followed by my repeated turrets.

It was magnificent and terrifying in one snapshot.

Being too engrossed in the mattress densities and the alcohol content of the beer, I had spent little time researching the Terrain during the preparations. It was not until I was surrounded by the set of Lord of the Rings (Mount Doom) that I realised that with Sa Collabra you have to go down, then climb up.
Its the toughest 'cul de sac' in the World.
I like going downhill fast......... especially with the added risk of almost certain death if you miscalculate your descent. It gives you a heightened sense of focus, or madness.

 Of course what goes down must also come up. about 12 mins down and an 70 mins  back up.
For some (Malcolm) it was pretty routine.

For me it was a hallelujah moment.
Right up there, a bucket list top ten at least.
The daily ride was only 62 miles but my suffer score was reaching 300.
Epic they labelled it - They were right.

Prior to the ride I did not really like the Rapha 'Sa Collabra' T shirt.
Visually it reminded me of a biology class at school and learning about the Spirogyra.

One of the characteristics of the Spirogyra is that it produces great amounts of oxygen and
after I had stopped panting and brought my heart rate down to a sensible level I eventually saw the irony.
Sa Collabra did look like a Spirogyra but instead of producing oxygen it demanded it like a disgruntled highwayman.

 The evenings celebrations continued well past a sensible time but this was a trip about riding hard and playing hard. The humble Mule only knows it tough.

The next two days saw further adventures and frolics and of course numerous visits to various watering holes.

For the seasoned cyclist going to Mallorca, Gran Canaria or Teneriffe has become and integral part of Spring training. I see all the benefits but for me its better as an end of season blow out.

The Marauding Mules

Mallorca is the largest Island in the Balletic Archipelago.

It is a real diamond amongst the scattered jewelled outcrops that rise up through the surface of the Mediterranean.

This strategic outpost appears to have been an obsession for all those who seek to conquer.

The interested parties provide an assortment of classical and mythological warriors as well as a few misguided souls................ but more about them later.

The Phoenicians, Carthaginians and Romans were the first to arrive, in the shadow of the imposing Tramuntana mountain range to the north west.

Their respective hints of civilization were soon halted by the next batch of more boisterous inhabitants.

Gunderic and the Vandals, the Byzantines and the Barbary Pirates soon arrived taking in more than just the sea and Sangria.

Finally the Spanish, Catalans and Italians all sought to ‘have a go’ before the island became a Spanish province in 1716.

300 years on and little has changed, the Island is still invaded throughout the year.

However the only things that are taken are the vistas, and the only blood that is spilt is by accident.

The new invaders are Lycra clad warriors, with bucket list entries ready to be struck through.

Descending through the heavens from all corners of the globe the appetite for conquest has never been greater.

The Phoenicians replaced by Orica GreenEDGE, The Romans by Lampre- Merida, whilst Gunderic and his band of vandals are now replaced by Philip and the Mules.

The natives are not hostile, but a friendly bunch who provide a warm welcome, wine and victuals fit for a king.

With winter setting in and the imminent threat of having to cover ones knees, Mauel our Spanish Dr suggested that vigorous exercise, specialised hydration and an exotic diet should be prescribed he exhorted


Rather than write out a prescription he highlighted the great value of a Ryan Air £37 ticket to Mallorca and homely accommodation at his sisters in law.

Knowing his medicine as he does Manuel also decided that we should be introduced to an unfamiliar drug.

A SuperSix EVO with Shimano ultra Di2 voted the best bike in the world in 2012
Not being one who resists what might be good for me, I duly took my medicine along with some other fellow Mules.

I think there is always an inner debate in your head.
Do you hire a bike or take your own?
Having done both there is no right answer 
It basically comes down to choice, cost and logistics.

You don't want a bike that feels like a coat that you might leave behind in a pub
Something that was great when new, but has seen better days
You don't want to eat into the money you had put aside for post ride lubrication

And finally you don't want to spend more time obtaining the bike as you did travelling to your destination

Ours were sourced from Bikehead (http://bikehead.se) who now operate from two locations in Aloro and Alcudia.
The bikes were delivered to us on arrival which is a usual practice if you are in a group.
I must admit I did not know what to expect. 
My gleaming beauty were far greater than the engine that was going to be use to power it.
Things in life are never equal.
For those who like to know about the bits and pieces 

Quick Facts about SuperSix EVO

• Ultegra 6700 Wheelset

• Cannondale Hollowgram SI Crank

• Ultegra 12/27 Cassette

• Compact chainset with 50/34

• Fizik Antares Saddle

• Bikes comes with one bottle (Yours to keep)

• Bike computer (Upgrade to Garmin Edge GPS €5/day)

• Saddlebag containing 1 innertube, 2 tyre levers and a pump.

• Continental GP4000s tyres.

• Weight 7.1kg

As well as these there were other models designed for every level and budget.

And so to the riding
Although most cyclists come to Mallorca for the warm weather climbing the island offers everything in the way of terrain.

If you want flat there is the coastal plain running from the South West to the North East

If you want mixed terrain North to South
And if you want some mind blowing climbs,switch backs and vistas the west coast offers it all.





Most cycle shops provide a user friendly, waterproof cycle map which corresponds to the signage out on the road.
Getting lost would be more of a challenge than some of the sturdier climbs.
These also provide gradient indicators so that you can plan where you might want to rest and where you might want to be sick.
The car drivers on the whole respect cyclists and provide plenty of room.
The ones that don't are usually in hire cars with recognisable regional accents, the sort that you might find on any railway station in the UK.

Going at the end of November was a risk weatherise, but there were many positives.
The Accommodation and flights were cheaper.
The traffic was always very light.
We could always get a place at the most popular restaurants
And finally the locals will now lookout for the Mule jerseys in the 2015 UCI Cycling Calendar 

As it turned out we had three days of great cycling, with a little rain during our very last ten minutes of cycling.
All in all we actually got more wet on the inside than we did on the out.